


Swings

by TheonSugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alcohol Mentions, F/M, mentions of a dead character, mentions of a slap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 06:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5529917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At Christmas, Nikhil and Leyla, slowly facing their feelings for each other, talk about their pasts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swings

Leyla sat back in her swing, transfixed by the bright orange sun and the pink sky before her. She knew this place was for the kids, but they were all at the nativity play…or wherever the kiddies went to hide from the latest disaster or shooting or stabbing that seemed to dominate the village these days.

She thought of how warm the sun was in Portugal, the sand between her toes, the gorgeous men serving her drinks while Alicia and Paul told her their worst bar stories, and Jakey…

She couldn’t think about Jakey today. She knew Alicia was his mother, and a damn good mother, but on their own, without David and Eric and Val and the whole group together, it was just more…obvious. And it hurt.

She looked up from her pity-induced shroud to see Nikhil, hands in pockets, awkwardly leaning against the edge of the swingset.

“So you’re a swinger, eh?”

Said with a smirk, no less. 

She should have coughed up a sympathy laugh, but his horrified face suggested she hadn’t managed it. 

“Oh God. I’m _so so so_ sorry. I’m so -”

Now that did make her laugh.

“It’s like flippin’ David in stereo. Don’t know how either of ya manage not to kick yourself in the backside every time ya put your shoes on!”

He blushed appropriately. 

Sometimes it was hard for her to believe he was an international mogul, or whatever they called it. Sometimes he reminded her of the idiot boys she’d tried to avoid when she was a girl. Boys she sometimes wished she’d stuck with, but the ones she did stick with had hurt her more than she thought anyone could…

“Leyla?”

She noticed he was still watching her, the way a lot of men did, the way Jai always had, but…different. 

“M’fine,” she assured, noticing his concern. “Just - Christmas ain’t my most wonderful time of the year, if you know what I mean.”

Nikhil eye the seat beside her, sitting down when she rolled her eyes and pointed to the empty, hard plastic space.

“I do know what you mean…” he said, nervously, like someone was watching. “I just want it to be over.”

Leyla nodded.

“Just doin’ it for little Molly?”

Nikhil scratched the back of his neck.

“More like not-so-little Brenda. No, wait, I mean -”

Leyla sighed.

“Continue, Nikhil.”

He did.

“Molly doesn’t really like Christmas that much either. I mean, she believes in Santa, I guess, and she likes presents…”

“ _Everybody_ likes presents.”

“But she doesn’t get caught up in it. She doesn’t get the fuss.”

“Almost sound proud of her.”

Nikhil smiled, bashfully.

“I am. She’s my girl. I don’t want to spoil anything for her, ‘cos Gennie loved Christmas, but..days like today and tomorrow, they make some kids into little…little monsters. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t even know if I wanted kids, until -”

“Until ya got one.”

He blushed again.

“Yeah. That’s it. You get it.”

Leyla dropped her guard a bit, knowing she had another Stylish Scrooge for company.

“Christmas in my house was expectin’ the bare minimum, tryin’ to be grateful. Mam worked so hard…so did ‘licia…I did too, but it never - it never felt like enough.”

Nikhil looked at her with pity, which she hated, and which he quickly seemed to pick up on.

“M-My mum…her favorite part of Christmas was the sherry.”

Leyla laughed.

“Guess that’s _one_ thing we’d agree on…”

Nikhil looked down at her hands, long enough to where she wondered if he had a fetish, until she remembered that almost a year before, she’d slapped Georgia Sharma in the smug face for all the nasty comments she’d made about Alicia. Nobody talked about her sister that way. Not even Leyla herself.

“Ah. She told ya.”

Nikhil shook his head, bemused.

“I don’t think Mum would ever tell that story. Priya did…”

Leyla tried to work up an apology, but she couldn’t bother.

“I-I’m not going to thank you for assaulting my mother, but - I understand.”

That rankled Leyla, for reasons she wasn’t comfortable with.

“So glad I have your support, Mr. Sharma.”

Patronizing, egomaniac man. Just like all the rest.

He had to be, because if she stopped telling herself that, otherwise she was going to make another really big mistake soon, and she’d marked her card on those this year alone.

“If I’m bothering you, I can go.”

Puppy dog eyes. 

He was pathetic…and so was she.

“With the village these days I’d get mugged soon as ya do.”

He did those meek little nods again, terrified of eye contact.

Weird, weird man. One she wanted to know, she was starting to admit to herself.

“What about your dad? He’s a real party animal.”

Nikhil smiled, traces of more bitter than sweet.

“Everybody loves my dad…I do too…”

She added the _but_ in her head.

“It wasn’t until I was about 10 that I realized the reason he wanted such big ‘happy’ Christmases was because of him…for him. We - I was just a part of the happy family package. That hurt, Leyla. It sounds silly…but it hurt a lot.”

She allowed herself to take his hand, surprising him. Surprising them both.

“It’s not silly. Don’t ever let anybody tell ya how ya feel is silly.” 

She’d been called silly her whole life, silly and stupid and a whole bunch of cruder words starting with an ‘s.’ She wasn’t sure which hurt her more.

Nikhil looked at her hand on top of hers, how the glint of the dying sun hit his wedding ring just right, and they both moved away.

“Hey,” she said, clearing her throat, “did ya ever hear ‘bout when Gennie saved the church?”

He smiled softly, fondly.

“Gennie didn’t like to boast…”

Leyla raised her eyebrows.

“But Brenda -”

He tilted his head.

“Brenda’s told me every detail, in every language but Klingon. She’s going to tell Molly tonight before the second course.”

When Leyla looked confused, he explained.

“She’s going to fix six courses of Gennie’s favorite foods - soup to dessert - and tell a story about her before each one. What we can’t eat, she’s going to freeze so we can do it again for Boxing Day.”

Leyla began to chuckle.

“Always thought ya didn’t have a sense of humor.”

 When she realized he wasn’t kidding, she turned the same color he’d been when he’d first walked up.

“I’m sorry, Nikhil.”

He was gazing at the sandbox, half-listening to her, then he turned back to her, a full-on stare, one that made her feel like he was connecting to every thought or feeling she had. She was unsettled…but in both good and bad ways.

“I didn’t love Gennie because she was a saint. She drove me mad - God knows what I made her feel like. She told me often enough. Brenda needs her to be perfect. I just…I just need to remember _her_. I never want her to be anything else.”

His eyes filled with tears. She wanted to wipe them away, but knew that was too much, too confusing…and she’d ruin her gloves.

“Must be hard for ya to be back here.”

He sniffled, if a Disney prince ever sniffled, then looked at her again.

“It is…it was…but it isn’t as bad lately.”

He smiled again, so soft the edges melted.

She didn’t know how that made her feel. He was so open - she wasn’t sure if he even realized how vulnerable he was now. She wanted to warn him, but she liked this. 

She liked him.

“So…” she started again. “Let’s talk about Gennie. _The real Gennie_ ,” she added, with mock foreboding. “But first, we’d better go check on David. Left him all alone with Finn…and I think somebody has a crush.”

Nikhil looked down at the ground - what they could still see of it.

“Yeah, I know.”

He stood up, but before Leyla could do the same, she felt him behind her, hands on the chains.

“Would you…like me to push you?”

Leyla pushed herself. She always had. She’d never had much choice in the matter.

So she surprised herself by saying a quiet, “Yes.”

For now, for Christmas, and Nikhil, she smiled, felt his strong hands at her back, the wind in her hair, and she let herself remember when she thought she could fly.


End file.
